The Secret of Our Success by Bluesman
by Bluesman © 2002
Although we have never met, I know you. You started chewing tobacco around
high school. It quickly became part of your personality, part of your behavior,
and part of your life. At some point, you developed a bad sore throat and
thought, "Oh my God, please do not let it be cancer." You decided to quit for
the first time. But your throat got better, and one thing lead to another, and
you bought another tin.
Since then, you have tried to quit many, many times. You have blown through
countless "quit deadlines," like "I will quit when I graduate," "I will quit
when I get a job," "I will quit when I am (20)(25)(30)(35)," "I will quit when
the baby is born," "I will quit when my workload lightens up," and "I will quit
on New Years." But, when the deadline came, it was never a good time to quit. Or
you quit for a while, but then some problem or stress came into your life and
you just "had" to go back to the tin (what was that problem?). Or you quit for
someone else (wife, girlfriend, etc.), but then they made you angry, so you
started to chew again. No one is going to tell you what to do.
At some point, you stopped telling the people around you that you were trying
to quit tobacco, because it was just too embarassing when you failed. You
covered yourself for years with "I do not want to quit," so that no one knows
you're completely addicted. It's not like you are an alcoholic or drug addict,
right? For the same reasons, you never asked anyone for their help or support,
because you are not some spineless, weak-mind junkie who "needs help." And
besides, they would never understand it anyway, because "they" just think it's
some stupid or gross "spit" habit.
Ultimately, you just resigned to your addiction. You justified it with "It is
my only bad habit," "The risk of getting oral cancer is (small/exaggerated/not
real/for heavy users/for hillbillies/for people who don't brush their teeth),"
"I need tobacco to (work/write/concentrate/be productive/play ball/live)," "I am
happier with tobacco," "If I get cancer, I get cancer. Everyone dies of
something," And Now, you have been chewing tobacco for years and years, and you
couldn't quit, even if you wanted to.
And then you found this website.
I know these things about you because, approximately 100 days ago, I was you.
I chewed tobacco everyday, all-the-time for 20 years. I chewed all day and
swallowed the juice, but I was discreet (i.e., only a fellow dipper would know
that I was chewing tobacco), because I am not a baseball player or a farmer or
some stereotypical cowboy from the Deep South. I am a trial attorney at a large
firm in Ohio, a husband to a beautiful wife of 12 years, and the father of three
young children. Oh, and I am completely addicted to chewing tobacco.
When I found this website, I was living the Big Lie. I was a real life "Neo,"
in a matrix of my own creation. I absolutely believed that tobacco - rather than
something naturally inside of me - was actually the reason for my success in
life, for my ability to concentrate and reason and write. I could not enjoy life
or anything in it without tobacco. Stop chewing tobacco? You might as well might
ask me to stop breathing oxygen. Privately, I was whiny ("It's too hard to
quit"), weak-minded ("I just can't quit"), and selfish ("I don't want to quit"),
with no real hope of ever getting free. And then I found this website.
Through sheer luck and good fortune on your part, and the amazing, selfless
hard work of Matt van Wyk (the host of this free website), you have just found
the place where you will free yourself of tobacco, once and for all.
Congratulations on your decision and your discovery. This site contains the
instructions and secrets on how to quit using smokeless tobacco. This site
works. Use it completely.
While it would be impossible to summarize all of the knowledge and
information contained on this site (so I will not attempt to), and I have no
claim of authorship or originality, I wanted to share several important ideas
that have been the "secrets" of my success, and the reason why I am tobacco-free
since November 3, 2001. Try any or all of them, if they help you win the battle
against our common addiction.
1. Personal Commitment: Make a commitment to yourself that you will not use
tobacco today. Re-affirm this personal commitment every single day (or several
times a day, if needed), by checking into this website and putting it down in
writing on this website. Make this commitment the top priority in your life,
such that it will takes precedent over everything else in your life. Why? You
already know the answer to that question, or you wouldn't be here. You have your
own personal "quit reasons." Personally, I quit for personal freedom, to "free
my mind" from tobacco, but my wife and my children inspired me, each and every
day, to be a better husband, a better father, and a better person. Your "quit
reasons" are the "bricks and mortar" for your commitment, and your commitment is
the foundation for making personal decisions at every stage in the process. You
cannot control the circumstances of your life (any more than you can control the
weather), but you can control your own actions. There is not now, nor will there
ever be, a "good reason" to go back to an addictive, cancer-causing spit tobacco
habit. Turn your back on this addiction and keep on walking, because you do not
use tobacco anymore.
2. The "Do Anything" Approach: Now that you have a personal commitment, you
need to prepare yourself to deal with the left-over mental and physical withdraw
symptoms, so that "tobacco cravings" do not become tobacco "cavings." My advice
is to take a scorch-earth, no-holds-barred tactic when fighting this addiction.
Put it this way: If you were a prisoner sentenced to death, what would you be
willing to do to free yourself? What physical hardship would you be willing to
endure, what mental anguish would you be willing to suffer, how hard would you
push yourself to reach personal freedom? You would do ANYTHING! Well, if you
take an honest look in the mirror, you will see a person who is a prisoner, a
common slave to chewing tobacco. You are locked into the Big Lie, mentally
chained to chemically-treated, cancer-causing tobacco leaves. And your death
sentence? Just read the published medical studies (and the postings from doctors
on this site … yes, even doctors can get addicted to chewing tobacco). You are
locked in a prison of your own creation, and now, you must be willing to do
literally ANYTHING to free your mind! In my case, the "do anything" approach has
meant using herbal chews, chewing gum, hard candies, Altoids, prayer, eating
snacks, taking walks, drinking water, working out, jogging, leaving work early,
changing my routines, drinking more coffee, going to church in the middle of the
day, and spending hours reading and posting on this website. If you need
nicotine supplements (gum or patch) or an anti-depressant prescription, then go
get them, right now. In fact, have everything ready on Day -1, so that you have
these things ready when you need them. And tell everyone about your decision and
your commitment. "Burn every boat," so to speak, so that you cannot break your
commitment without embarassment, without publicly admitting failure, and without
swallowing your pride. Make it more difficult to cave that to remain true to
your commitment (see "do anything" above). In fact, invest so much time and
effort into your commitment that you absolutely HAVE to stick it out. Every step
away from a prison cell is a step towards freedom.
3. A Daily Visit to the QS Café: One of the most important "admissions" for
me was that I needed a little help to take on this addiction. Whether because of
pride or arrogance, I could never tell anyone in my "real world" that I needed
support for an "addiction." But for me, the support and accountability created
by this website are the reasons for my success. I was shocked to find hundreds
of people, just like me, hard-wired into a chewing tobacco addiction with no way
out. By reading and posting in the forum, you develop a sense of support, and
some personal responsibility and accountability. More importantly, you help
others win their own personal battle. It is almost impossible to break your own
commitment if you are helping someone else keep the same commitment. So come to
this website and read and post often. Read everything. Use the "search" feature
to follow a HOF member from Day 1 through today. Search your "cave excuse" and
rationalizations, and see how other people survived them. This website is the
most important weapon in the "do anything" approach.
4. The Crash Principle of "Enjoy the Pain": There is nothing easy about the
process of breaking free from this addiction, and there are no shortcuts. You
will earn your freedom through "sweat equity." You will have headaches, lack of
concentration, and irritability. You will have fits of "dip rage" and anger. You
will have embarassing, uncharacteristic melt-downs. You will "not be yourself."
You will also endure mental cravings - caused by stress and friends and family
and boredom and nothing at all - and you feel weak and demoralized before you
bring yourself, kicking and screaming, back to your commitment and this website.
Given that the process is painful and difficult, you only want to do it once!
With each passing day, as you become stronger and stronger with each personal
victory, remember the price you have paid to get there so that you do not throw
away your hard work and "quit days" in a moment of weakness (and you will know
what I mean once you set your QS "quit tracker").
5. Celebrate Your Success: Take pride in your personal accomplishment(s) and
reward yourself as you reach new milestones and/or win big personal battles. To
most of the people in the QS Brotherhood, there are no banners or balloons or
"pats on the back" in their "real world." Most of the time, those closest to you
have no idea how much courage and character you demonstrate by facing down this
addiction. Therefore, it is up to you to reward yourself for personal victories
(big and small). Go out to dinner, take a half-day from work, or buy a new CD
(my personal favorite). Certainly, come to this website to "crow" about it,
because you will get that "atta boy" here. I guarantee you that, by posting your
personal victory on this website, it will become more meaningful and permanent
to you, and you will help some other tobacco junkie in some distant state
survive the same test.
The success that you will experience here will spill over into your life,
leaving you with a deep sense of pride, happiness, and satisfaction. Since I
quit using tobacco, I am happier, healthier, more energetic, and have a far more
positive outlook and attitude. It has been the centerpiece for positive change
in my life, and it taught me that literally anything is possible. I feel like I
have finally become the person that I always wanted to be. And in 100 days from
now, you can be too. Good luck.
February 18, 2002
- The Secret of Our Success
- An Open Letter to Wives of Smokeless Tobacco Users
- Contract to Give Up
- Death Day
- Spongebob Mantra
- Reply from Jenny Kern
- What Price to Save Ourselves?
- One Thing
- I Promise
- Return for Refund or Deposit
- How Stupid Am I?
- Quit Primer
- Getting out of Dipville
- One year off chew and side effects are worth it
- Lifeï¿½s Journeys ï¿½ A Testimonial for Newbies